Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Camp portfolio sample writing

In writing we have been writing about camp I was writing to entertain so I made it funny.
First we had to make our 1 draft then we looked back over it to make it better 

This is my writing:


The sniper his name is Eli.
Silent still and deadly one shot kills he fires everything around his dead straight away.
Now the story

We were trying to sleep there was 7 of us in our cabin.But then bang one man down bang bang bang bang it was only me and Eli then I released Eli was the sniper I ran but bang I was DOWN.....

The archer still and silent but so deadly his name was Max Max Hannan ...........

We were doing an activity then i see this little movement out the corner of my eye.
But I spin around because my mate had just been shot in the chest with an arrow I turn back around then I see him noooo I scream an arrow was gliding at me I was hit it went straight through me.

Feedback & feedfordwards: you did really good at using great words but
you could of done better by describing the people in the story. #Fletcher

Evolution:I think i did well but it could be longer and I agree with fletcher.


  1. Nice story Hunter. I Like how you chose to write about the time in the cabin. Not many people chose to write about that. Jayden was the sniper and Luke was the archer in our cabin.

  2. Great to see Loki giving you some feedback on your blog too and it seems that snipers and archers were in all the cabins. Remember Ned was in my cabin, I wonder what he would have been. Looking forward to your next story Hunter when you give us a bit more depth and maybe try a different genre.